When is judging okay and when is it not?
You likely heard about the importance of a non-judgmental attitude.
If you have ever been exposed to any new age or spiritual talk, you likely heard that judging is simply not okay.
Have you ever been confused about this whole non-judgment thing?
Have you ever had a moment when you judged something or someone and then quickly realized, oops, I did it again? To be perfectly honest, this issue confused me a lot in the past, and it confuses many clients I work with.
People say to me... 'but she was judging me and she has no right to do that!' 'How dare she!' Or... 'I do not like the way he does things', etc. 'but I don't want to say anything because it's family'!...or numerous other variations.
So let me bring some light to the subject from my personal point of view. Having practiced the art of being for a big part of my life, it is clear to me today that there are different kinds of "judgments".
Two kinds of judgments
The first kind is when WE label, criticize, ruminate, relive, re-remind ourselves of someone/something a lot. We don't really make any decisions but we often get stuck in our, often repetitive, thoughts. This is the kind of judgment that brings up resentment inside us, and literally drives us bonkers.
A very similar situation happens when we get trapped in worry or resentment about someone else "judging" our actions or words. I cannot tell you how many people get stuck on this - become angry or frustrated or hurt because someone else "judged" them for something.
A completely different kind of "judgment" is a simple awareness of each element of our wholeness (our intellect, body, emotions, spirit), and a knowingness that something doesn't fit. This is when we have an opportunity to make decisions.
Instead of becoming defensive, ruminating or blaming, or falling into resentments, we make a clear choice. This is the kind of judgment that is necessary if we want to live in integrity.
Does this resonate with you? I would love to hear your experiences with judgments in your life.